So your ceremony and reception you and your wedding coordinator spent so much time on turned out wonderfully, just the way you've always dreamed. The night was splendid and your guests were amazed, the honeymoon left you on cloud 9and the man on the other side of the ring is just fantastic. Everything seems so perfect! Or is it?
Suddenly all these questions start arising... Did I do the right thing? Is he happy? Am I happy? Did I buy the right sheets? How many thread count is this? LOL! Your brain start's going a mile a minute and your mothers calming words of advise are just not doing the trick at the moment. What do you do? No one gave you a manual on how to be a wife. How do you share everything every second of the day? How do you put yourself second or do you? Whether you watched your parents love fest all of your life and you think you have all the answers to a perfect marriage or you followed a popular couple on T.V and think you have learned all there is to know about cooking and cleaning and finance. Truth is there is no right or wrong way to wife..... I have learned the hard way that you have to find what works for you and work it.
Now please don't get me wrong I am no poster child for " THE PERFECT WIFE CLUB" I'm also not from Stepford so I am in no way giving you my expert opinion. I can offer a few tips in this blog that have helped me become a better wife, mother and overall person. Many nights I found myself in bed with tears not being able to understand why I felt like I was laying next to a stranger. We had spent many years dating, and courting we even had a couple of kids yet still I had no clue who he was. Now this might shock you... He really wasn't the same person at all and neither was I, because once we said I do we became one just like you all do. There is no more single medical coverage or one name on the mortgage. For the most part you took his last name ( or figuratively ) that kind of makes you a different person all together. So I finally started to make the connection that he really was a different person and so was I because we became husband and wife. We became one..... you change dramatically from girlfriend to wife, boyfriend to husband and no one ever gave me a " Heads up".!
Blending your lives together is a battle that has yet to be easily won. I know my primary role is to get you to down your dream aisle ( beautifully might I add ) I am extremely passionate about gifting smiles of true happiness. One of my main inspirations for this blog is to be honest with my opinion on marriage and to gift advise that I believe can really help most newly weds of today.
I have learned a lot from people around me. Not just my friend's ( I have a very small circle ) but people I meet anywhere. If you listen to the world it really speaks to you. A lady at a nail shop once just out of the blue started talking to me about her 25 year long marriage and how awesome it is now but hasn't always been. I asked her how did she make it 25 years and she replied " Love"! Wow, I thought just that simple but so powerful. How often do we argue and fight over things that don't matter so much if you just take a second and look at it through a loving lens. That stranger you married is actually just your boyfriend who has transformed into your husband and is now just getting under your skin because you are both tired and need to cuddle more often. Hum.. Just some food for thought.
Another helpful tip to beating the post wedding confusion is to just simply listen to your hubby. I don't know how many times I thought he wanted something one way but he told me so many times how he wanted it and I never even paid him any attention. Well until it's a problem of course. On the other side husbands complain of the nagging wives always asking for something or complaining about just everything. How do we RISE ABOVE THE NOISE? It's elementary... simply close your lips, open your eyes and listen to the words that are actually coming out of the other persons mouth. I tell you it's like magic! The room becomes calm, your heart rate reduces and like energy becomes like energy. Take it from me practice real listening not only to your husband but to your kids, clients ( especially clients ), employees and anyone else you interact with and your world will become that much less complicated.
Lastly I encourage every last person reading this blog to know and love yourself. Knowing who you are and how you want your life to flow is a huge breakthrough. You have no idea how hard it is to build when there is no floor. Of course I can do that.. I am after all a creative designer, but what I mean is " If you don't know you... you can't expect anyone else to either". So you may often find yourself confused and that's ok because many other ladies including myself are right there with you. Take a deep breath ( yoga is awesome ), think of something that makes you happy ( for me it's weddings ) open your eyes and love and you will feel love in return. I promise you that!